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lysapadinTitle: Winner's Choice
Characters/Pairings: Tsuna/Xanxus; Squalo, Yamamoto, Gokudera\
Summary: In which Xanxus starts to learn to use his words and he and Tsuna uncover another kink.
Notes: Smut, D/s, praise kink, 8389 words.Winner Take All Index
~~~~~~~~~~
Winner's Choice
Perhaps it was fortunate that Xanxus stayed scarce for a while after the most recent installment of their philosophical discussion—at least for Hayato's peace of mind. Tsuna himself was far less sure whether it was such a good sign, particularly considering the invitation he'd issued Xanxus. He couldn't help suspecting—worrying—that Xanxus was spending his time away from the Vongola house brooding on the matter and no doubt getting his head all twisted up again. It did seem to be his standard procedure, after all.
They were the independent assassination squad, and for the moment things in the mafia world stood in an uneasy equilibrium. Tsuna therefore did not have any occasion to request Xanxus' presence, let alone the standing to expect the man would obey such a summons. Nor did Tsuna care to press his luck by reminding Xanxus of their relative positions (as if Xanxus would—could—ever forget that). So, as the days passed and became one week, then two, Tsuna waited and worried.
He didn't see Xanxus again, in fact, until the monthly meeting of the Family's major players—his Guardians, CEDEF, the outside advisor, and of course the Varia. In his more whimsical moments, Tsuna still marveled a bit at how running a criminal empire could be so similar to running a corporate empire, though the one time he'd mentioned the comparison out loud, Mukuro-behind-Chrome's-face had said, bland, "Aren't they the same thing, though?" And Tsuna hadn't really been able to argue the point.
Tsuna wouldn't have been surprised had Xanxus sent Squalo to this meeting in his stead. He had before out of sheer orneriness rather than complicated matters of his loyalty and his place in the Family (Tsuna's Family), but not this time. He stalked in, Squalo at his heels, and threw himself into his usual seat. His contributions were clipped and curt to the point of outright rudeness, but that wasn't unusual, either. Not really.
Perhaps he planned to make another unscheduled appearance in Tsuna's office at the close of the meeting, but Tsuna had already decided not to leave that to chance. He gave it a moment or two after adjourning the meeting and then, as if he'd just thought of something, said, "Oh, I nearly forgot—Xanxus, do you have a few minutes?" Xanxus grunted something that a generous soul might have been able to construe as an affirmative while Squalo cast a narrow-eyed look Tsuna's way. "Good. Would you meet me in my office?"
That netted him another grunt. More interesting was the collection of responses from the various witnesses to the exchange. The CEDEF representatives took no notice; neither did Irie. Squalo's expression went blank and Hayato choked slightly, while Takeshi lifted his eyebrows just a bit. Neither Ryouhei nor Lambo took any notice, Kyouya had already vanished, and Chrome—or Mukuro—or both—looked to be highly entertained.
Well. Tsuna hadn't supposed that his Family would remain entirely oblivious forever. He might have hoped they would, but expected it? Not really, which was apparently just as well.
Xanxus stalked out, Squalo following close behind, without so much as a backward glance as the meeting's aftermath continued. Hayato turned up at Tsuna's elbow with a frown creasing his forehead. "Tenth, I didn't realize we were going to have a meeting with Xanxus today—"
Takeshi wandered over after him and interrupted while Tsuna was puzzling through a tactful way of explaining that they didn't have a meeting at all, which of course Hayato already knew perfectly well. He dropped a hand on Hayato's shoulder. "Hey, you got a minute? I saw something in the Caraceni files that's weird and I need your opinion on it."
"Can it wait? The Tenth has a meeting—"
Bless Hayato's heart and his earnest efforts to save Tsuna from himself, and bless Takeshi for the out. "It's nothing formal," Tsuna said gently, to Hayato's clear consternation. "I'll certainly let you know if that changes, but it sounds like Takeshi has the better claim on you just now."
"But—" Hayato began, only for Takeshi to interrupt with sunny good cheer. "You heard the man. Seriously, come help me, the numbers are weird and I can't wrap my brain around them." He was not-so-subtly propelling Hayato in the direction of the door.
Hayato surrendered. "That's because you don't have a brain," he muttered resentfully.
Takeshi laughed. "I guess not! Later, Tsuna, have fun with your meeting!"
Tsuna was fairly sure that made Hayato groan, but perhaps it was only his imagination.
With his good-intentioned right hand successfully diverted, Tsuna was free to turn his steps toward his own office, only to find that he wasn't quite finished dealing with right hands after all. Squalo leaned against the wall across from his office, one leg drawn up and his boot firmly planted against the plaster. He had his arms folded across his chest and his lips made a thin slash across his face.
Tsuna paused and they regarded each other silently until Squalo spoke. "What's this about?"
Thinking on it, Tsuna was surprised that this hadn't come up sooner, given Squalo's fierce loyalty to Xanxus. "Checking in," he said after a moment's reflection. "From there…" He shrugged. "I suppose we'll see."
Squalo's expression deepened into a scowl. "No. I asked you what this is about."
Ah. Of course Squalo would be wondering about that. Whether he would understand any answer Tsuna gave him… well. The only thing to do was provide it and hope for the best. "One of my people needs something and I'm doing the best I can to make sure he gets it."
Squalo shifted, unfolding his arms and flexing his fingers as though he wanted to reach for something—the hilt of a sword or perhaps just Tsuna's throat. "He's not yours."
"He is mine," Tsuna told him, firm and clear, Will singing reflexively to back the bald rebuttal. "For as long as he chooses to be, he's mine. And I take care of my people." His brain caught up to his instincts at that point and he had to clear his throat against the faintly boggled stare Squalo was giving him. "Um."
Squalo shook his head and pushed away from the wall. "And they call him crazy." Tsuna felt that was a bit rich, given the source. "Just so you know, if you fuck this up I'll kill you." He might have been remarking on the weather, as casually as he had delivered the threat, but Tsuna had no doubt he meant every syllable.
"Noted," he said.
Squalo jerked his chin in something that might have been a nod and strode away.
Tsuna sighed—at least Takeshi had diverted Hayato and spared them all the screaming fit that little exchange would have given him—and let himself into his office.
He found Xanxus pacing the room the same way a tiger might pace a cage: restless and unceasing, though he stopped as Tsuna entered the room. Xanxus leveled a glare at him. "The fuck do you want."
Tsuna deliberated turned the lock, but Takeshi had Hayato in custody and no one else was likely to interrupt while he was meeting with Xanxus. The gamble was worth it to make sure Xanxus knew he wasn't making assumptions. "I haven't seen you lately. I wanted to be sure that all is well with you."
Xanxus sneered. "Are you really that desperate for it? You're pathetic."
He clearly hadn't jumped the gun. Perhaps he'd even been too slow to act. "Of course I'd be happy to go to bed with you, my own. But that's not why I asked you to come by. I haven't seen you and I wanted to know how you are." He came away from the door and skirted past Xanxus, who revolved in place to follow his progress, and hoisted himself up to sit on his desk.
"Don't call me that." The snarl seemed automatic, and yes, he definitely had left this too long.
Tsuna repressed the urge to sigh. "If you'd rather I not, certainly." He reached for his Will, let it rise in his voice as he watched Xanxus, studying the scowl the man wore in hopes of seeing what it was masking. "You're still my own, either way."
There. Xanxus shifted his weight the slightest bit, as though to lean forward. Then he snarled again. "The fuck I'm yours, you piece of trash."
Tsuna let his Will surge up and lifted a hand, holding it out to Xanxus. He nearly slipped into command, thinking of the things they had done together before, but thought better of it. He turned his palm up, an invitation. "Xanxus, my own. Come here?"
Xanxus didn't move, still glaring at him, but there was something in it that hinted of confusion. "Why?"
Tsuna kept his hand stretched out to Xanxus, his gaze steady. "Because I want you." Xanxus' eyes widened as he shook his head, denying it, so Tsuna repeated himself, anchored in the clarity of his Will. "I want you and I choose you, Xanxus. I would show you so, if you will permit it."
Xanxus shook his head again, but it was easier to see, now, that it was less outright refusal than denial, which made too much sense in light of what had passed between them the last time they'd been together. "You can't—you don't."
"I do." Tsuna beckoned him closer. "Come here and I'll show you." He could feel Xanxus through his Will, the dense tangle of rage and fear and confusion threaded through with something that felt like longing, but he made no move to take hold of Xanxus. Better to see if the man would accept the invitation instead. So he waited, and hoped, while Xanxus hesitated, until he felt the waver in Xanxus' resolve. He beckoned again. "Xanxus, my own. Please."
At last Xanxus moved—toward him, not away, one slow step, then another, at war with himself as he did. His third step brought him close enough to the desk that Tsuna could have touched the tips of his fingers to Xanxus' chest just by leaning forward a bit.
Instead he smiled at Xanxus, encouraging, and curled his fingers, gesturing him closer. "My own. Will you let me show you?"
Xanxus balked again—disappointing, but not a surprise. Not really. "You don't really—you don't." To Tsuna's ears, it sounded more like You can't.
"But I do," Tsuna said, steady. "I promised you the truth, and I keep my promises. Let me remind you."
The little shudder that rocked Xanxus might have gotten past him if he hadn't been watching so closely. "Damn you," Xanxus said, helpless (hopeless), and took Tsuna's hand.
Tsuna sighed his name, drawing Xanxus closer, close enough for Xanxus to step between his knees. "I do wish you didn't feel like you needed to fight this." He lifted his free hand to Xanxus' cheek as his expression twisted. "No, I know. I just wish it had been otherwise for you, my own. It should have been otherwise."
"You're so weak." Xanxus' voice had dropped. "It's disgusting, how weak you are." He made no move to pull away from Tsuna's hands. There was something that might have been the faintest trace of longing in his words.
Tsuna rubbed his thumb back and forth against the sharp angle of Xanxus' cheekbone. "Caring for the wellbeing of my people doesn't make me weak. It's the source of my strength. It always has been." He stretched out his Flame, reaching for Xanxus to touch, not to hold. Not yet. "Will you let me show you?"
"You're going to do what you want whatever I say," Xanxus muttered, making no move to pull away from Tsuna's hand on his cheek or the Flame resting against his heart.
It both was and was not enough. "No, my own. Never without your permission, I promise you that." He opened himself up to Xanxus, offering welcome—a risk to do so, if Xanxus should decide to lash out, but a calculated risk. "This should always be something chosen, not taken."
He held himself there, waiting, laid bare to Xanxus, but only if Xanxus chose to move forward, to reach out for him. Heaven only knew what he might do with a thorough knowledge of Tsuna's own scars and sorrows. They'd have to cross that bridge when they came to it, if Xanxus chose that path. But he was going to hope that Xanxus would not.
Xanxus stared at him, bewilderment clear in the wrinkle of his brow and the way he hadn't moved—poised in a moment of confusion. Whatever he had expected, it was not this. "You—" he said, and stopped there as he roiled with indecision. "Why would you—?"
It must have seemed utterly senseless to him to show any vulnerability at all, let alone to someone who'd tried to kill him more than once, Tsuna reflected. To be fair, it was a bit insane, but what part of his life wasn't insane? "Come and find out," he told Xanxus. "I'll show you."
Xanxus wavered a moment longer and then moved, his Flame rising with breathtaking swiftness. Tsuna gasped against the weight of it as Xanxus stretched it out, taking hold of him much the same as Tsuna had the last time they'd been together. Tsuna dropped his hand to Xanxus' shoulder, gripping it tightly, and twisted his fingers with Xanxus' as Xanxus sank his Flame home. Xanxus grunted a curse, shocked—Tsuna could feel that Xanxus had expected resistance, a trap, not to be welcomed in.
Had not expected Tsuna to lay himself bare for Xanxus' inspection—all of himself, not only the positives (his welcome of Xanxus, part and parcel of the love he felt for all his people, the pride he took in his Family and in transforming it from what it had become by the time he'd taken it over to the force for good it was becoming, something better than it had been, something more like what Giotto had meant for it to be) but also the negatives (his guilt for the wrongs he had not been able to right, for all the blood spilled in his name and on his behalf, the mistakes he'd made, the frustrations and impatience and the times when he didn't know whether there was any point to it at all) and the scars and vulnerabilities that continued to haunt him to this day (Dame-Tsuna, No-Good Tsuna, clumsy useless weak ineffectual Tsuna who would never amount to anything, never achieve anything, never be worth anything at all). He laid it all before Xanxus to make of what he would and wound it round with his hope—no, his faith—that Xanxus would see. Would understand.
And it seemed that, will-he nil-he, Xanxus did understand. He snatched his Flame back almost as soon as he'd laid it on Tsuna's heart, hissing a curse as he did, and fixed a wild stare on Tsuna. "You—"
"They think of wrath when they think of you," Tsuna said, his voice not quite steady. "But you're Sky, too. You're Vongola, too. So you know how to see, if you want to. If you want to understand." It was unsettling to have opened himself up like that, to have felt himself utterly known, if only for a moment. He took a breath, trying to ground himself, and reached out with his Will. "Do you see, my own? Do you understand?"
He wasn't sure at first whether Xanxus was even processing his words, not when Xanxus continued to stare at him, not when he could feel the way the man's heart roiled and seethed with shock—disbelief—confusion. Then Xanxus spoke, his voice hoarse. "Dame-Tsuna. No-Good Tsuna. " His tone pitched up at the end like a question.
Tsuna nodded; it felt more like a grimace when he tried to smile. "I don't know whether it was better that they thought so little of me that they could call me worthless to my face," he said. "But at least I know where I stood." He dropped his hand from Xanxus' shoulder to lay it against his heart. "The only voice that ever called you worthless came from here." His smile this time felt more like a real smile. "But we can prove all those voices wrong, can't we? We have proven them wrong."
"You, maybe." Xanxus' voice was rough.
Tsuna reached for his heart and wrapped his Flame around it. "And you as well," he said, letting his Will underscore his meaning with all the respect he had for Xanxus' raw strength and ability, yes, but also his respect for the man's sheer refusal to be defeated by all the things that might have destroyed a lesser personality. "You are so much, my own, and I cherish you for all that you are, for how you demand the very best of me. Even when you're challenging me, fighting me every step of the way, I value you. Every part of you." Xanxus tried to recoil, body and heart alike. Tsuna hung onto him, determined that Xanxus should know this much, whatever he chose to do with that knowledge. "You are my own, part of my Family, because I want you to be, not because of any Vongola traditions. I want you here, I want you, and no matter what else passes between us, that will not change."
"Sawada," Xanxus said; there was no way to tell whether it was a protest or a complaint, but he wasn't straining quite so hard against Tsuna's hands or his Will (if he'd ever been really trying at all; given that Tsuna hadn't been pulled right off his desk and dumped on the floor, Tsuna wondered).
"See for yourself, if you don't believe me," Tsuna murmured, watching him.
Xanxus leveled a look at him that put him in mind of Hayato, of all people. "Don't you have any sense of fucking self-preservation?"
Tsuna couldn't stop the laughter that bubbled out of him in response to that single exasperated question—did Xanxus know how much he had conceded by asking it? "I do, but it usually doesn't kick in unless I really need it." He dropped his hand from Xanxus' chest and laid it over the hand he already held. "I don't need it at the moment." He paused there, looking at Xanxus. "Do I?"
Xanxus broke his gaze away and growled. "You talk so fucking much." It was its own sort of answer.
"A hazard of the job, I'm afraid." Tsuna smoothed his thumb over Xanxus'. "I've covered all the points I wanted to make. Did you have anything to bring up?"
Xanxus whipped his head back around to stare at him so quickly that Tsuna didn't quite have enough time to arrange his expression in a suitably bland way, which was all the confirmation Xanxus needed that yes, that innuendo had been purely intentional. "You—!" By the feel of his Will, he didn't know whether to be outraged, baffled, or simply impressed by Tsuna's effrontery. (He might have even been the tiniest bit amused, though Tsuna didn't entirely trust his own sense of that.)
Tsuna gave in and grinned at him. "Does that mean you wanted to raise something with me or not?"
(No, it really was amusement, however reluctant. Tsuna tucked that away to marvel over later.) "I wish I'd killed you when I had the chance."
Tsuna shrugged at him. "I hear that a lot." He smiled at the way Xanxus rolled his eyes. "In all seriousness, I wanted to speak to you, and I have, and I didn't have any ulterior motives beyond that. I'd be happy to go to bed with you this afternoon, of course, but that would be a pleasant bonus. I'll understand if you're not in the mood for it."
Xanxus stared at him rather as though he'd just begun speaking Greek—he was pretty sure Xanxus didn't have any Greek. "…what?"
Clearly he was going to need to be even plainer in his meaning. "All I really wanted was to check on you. I'd be delighted to fuck you, but only if you want that."
Huh. He'd never actually seen Xanxus go slack-jawed before. He wouldn't have thought it possible. "What?"
"Or you could fuck me, obviously—you know I don't mind switching." Maybe it was a little bad of him to tease Xanxus, but he had to wonder whether anyone had ever done so in the friendly way before. Given how flabbergasted Xanxus' reaction was, he assumed not. "I definitely enjoyed the last time we were together."
"You…" Xanxus stopped there, scrutinizing him. "You aren't joking."
"No, I'm not." Tsuna let go of Xanxus' hand and leaned back on his own. "Not about enjoying switching and not about having sex with you." Xanxus continued to stare at him, so perhaps he'd pushed enough. "I'd enjoy being kissed right now, if you're up for it." He smiled at the way Xanxus grimaced. "I can't keep talking with someone else's tongue in my mouth, you know," he added, purely in the spirit of helpfulness.
Xanxus did not quite roll his eyes, but did lean in to seal his mouth to Tsuna's, so Tsuna was content to call that a win. He spread his knees wider to make room for Xanxus and opened his mouth for the stroke of Xanxus' tongue against his. Given concrete action to perform, Xanxus seemed to settle; when Tsuna lifted a hand to settle it against his nape, there was at least a little give in the muscles there and Xanxus didn't flinch away from the touch.
All the same, it didn't feel like the intent was there. Tsuna hummed against Xanxus' lips and drew back from him slightly. "Thank you, my own," he said as Xanxus frowned. "That was very nice and all I really needed." He cupped Xanxus' cheek gently. "You're probably going to go away from here and start overthinking all the things I just said to you and then start convincing yourself that I didn't really mean any of it. Please come back to me before you start to believe that."
Of course Xanxus chose to focus on the least important part of that. "Aren't we going to fuck?"
"I don't think your heart is really in it this afternoon," Tsuna murmured. "So no, I don't believe we are."
"But you want to."
The honest confusion on Xanxus' face made his heart ache. "I want many things, Xanxus, but not if they aren't freely given. I don't think this would be." He leaned forward and kissed Xanxus again, simple and chaste, and then smiled at him. "I'm sure you have other things to attend to, so I'll let you be about them. Just remember to come see me again before you overthink things too much, okay?"
Xanxus didn't reply, staring at him with that puzzled frown still knitting his eyebrows together. At length he grunted and spun away from Tsuna, striding for the door and slamming it behind him.
He probably was going to overthink it all, Tsuna concluded, a bit rueful, but that was fine. Either he would obey the request Tsuna had made of him or he would come again when Tsuna called, so it would work out in the end.
Hayato tossed off the drink and dropped his head back down, pressing his forehead to the desk and groaning. "Just—Xanxus. Why does it have to be Xanxus?"
"Tsuna probably has his reasons," Takeshi tried.
Nope, Hayato wasn't going to have any of that. "It's Xanxus," he moaned. "Xanxus! Ten pounds of psychopath in a two-pound sack! What is the Tenth thinking?" He raised his head and fixed a mournful look on Takeshi. "If he wants to stick his dick in the crazy, why not Mukuro? What else do we keep him around for?"
Takeshi didn't laugh, though it took a somewhat heroic effort not to. "Mist Guardian things, I guess? Also, I think Mukuro is a lot less crazy these days than he used to be. Maybe Tsuna just wanted a new project." That was the feeling he'd gotten, anyway.
"But Xanxus!" Hayato was all but wailing by this point. "What could he possibly see in Xanxus?"
One of these days Hayato was going to have to learn not to ask any questions he didn't want an actual answer to, and this might as well be that day. "Well—"
Or maybe not. Hayato stopped him, leveling a finger and a hard look at Takeshi. "No. Don't you dare answer that. You sleep with Hibari and Squalo and your opinions are clearly as skewed as your tastes."
"You really shouldn't knock it till you've tried it," Takeshi told him.
Hayato shuddered. "No thank you."
"Your loss, really."
"You're insane." Hayato pushed his glass over to Takeshi, who obliged him with a refill and by refraining from any comments about pots and kettles and their respective colors. "Xanxus, though. Christ."
"It'll work out," Takeshi consoled him. "It's Tsuna, right? So it'll be fine. It always is."
"Fucking optimists." Hayato scowled and drank. "You're the fucking worst."
"If you say so." Takeshi pushed the Caraceni folder at him. "So are you going to look at these numbers for me or not?"
Hayato heaved a sigh and flipped it open. "Sure, why the hell not? It's not like the Tenth is gonna need me for the next couple of hours anyway." He frowned down at the first of the papers in the folder. "What am I looking at, anyway?"
"That's what I was hoping you could tell me. Those Medina numbers look all wrong to me."
Hayato was already puzzling through them, reaching for a pen absently to jot figures down as he went.
And that was one distraction successfully engineered, Takeshi congratulated himself, and kept his grin carefully under wraps.
Tsuna definitely owed him one for this.
Had he been inclined to lay bets about such things, Tsuna would have bet that Xanxus would not heed his request to come back before he'd persuaded himself that Tsuna hadn't meant the things he'd said.
Just as well that he didn't make bets about such things, even with himself, for here was Xanxus, sprawled on his couch with arms folded across his chest and a scowl creasing his features, waiting in his office when Tsuna hadn't expected him back from Prague for several more days.
Not that Tsuna assumed that Xanxus had come to him on personal business, not at first. Irie, coming in behind him, uttered a quiet exclamation upon seeing Xanxus—he was far less at ease with the Varia than most of Tsuna's immediate circle—and Tsuna's mind turned immediately to the reason they'd sent Xanxus to Prague to begin with. "Has there been trouble?" He hadn't thought there would be, since Xanxus was the least subtle way he knew of making sure everyone knew that he was serious about the point he was making, but one never really knew.
Xanxus grunted. "No. No problems. Got something to talk to you about."
Oh, Tsuna thought, I'll be damned. "I see. Irie, do you mind if we reschedule for tomorrow morning?"
"Not at all, Tenth," Irie said, hasty. "I'll see you then. Around eight?"
"That'll be fine," Tsuna said and did not smile as Irie fled.
Xanxus didn't comment, but the slight curl of his lips was eloquent enough in its own way.
Tsuna shrugged at him—the man knew perfectly well how intimidating most of the Vongola found him and generally seemed to enjoy that fact—and closed the door after Irie. "I didn't expect you back for a few more days. This is unusually efficient, even for you."
Xanxus' eyes never left Tsuna as he came away from the door and crossed the room. "Černý just about pissed himself when he saw me. Maybe he'll even stick to the agreement once he's crawled out from under his bed."
"I imagine he will. After all, if I have to send you to Prague again, it won't be to negotiate." Černý loved his own skin enough that the threat of certain death ought to keep him in line. If not… Tsuna couldn't say that ordering an execution was ever easy, but he thought he'd sleep well enough in a world with one less trafficker in it.
"You're soft." Xanxus made the observation in a tone that was practically clinical, for him. He hardly sneered at all. "You're probably gonna send me back out there in six months."
Tsuna paused at the sideboard and considered the implicit question in what Xanxus was saying. He poured a finger of scotch for himself and two fingers for Xanxus. "Probably I will." He brought the glasses over to the couch. "But maybe I won't have to. And that possibility is enough that I feel I need to give him the chance to become more than what he is right now."
Now Xanxus did sneer, even as he accepted the glass Tsuna held out to him. "Bet that works out for you all the fucking time, huh?" He knocked the scotch back with absolute disregard for its age and quality.
Out of consideration for the cleaning staff, Tsuna waited until he'd swallowed to say, "It works out more often than you'd think. I've had quite a lot of success with you, after all."
He sipped his scotch serenely as Xanxus' eyes went wide and he began to sputter, then settled himself on the couch and angled himself to face Xanxus' sprawl. "But never mind that. You said you had something to discuss, my own?"
As he'd rather hoped it might, the question cut Xanxus off mid-sputter. Or perhaps the pet name did. Either way, he glared at Tsuna, gone sullen, and grunted. "Don't call me that."
"Always two steps forward and one step back," Tsuna sighed, rueful but not particularly surprised. "At least you're consistent." He allowed himself another mouthful of scotch. "I call you my own because you are mine, and because I doubt there are any other endearments you'd like better. Do feel free to correct me if I'm mistaken."
Xanxus sneered at him and then looked away. "Or you could just use my fucking name."
"Or I could do that, I suppose." Tsuna sipped his drink, rolling the scotch over his tongue to give them both a moment to reflect. "Do you truly want me to stop?"
A muscle flickered in Xanxus' jaw as the man sat in stony silence, refusing to look at him. Tsuna let him be and turned his glass in his hands, trusting that Xanxus would answer, change the subject, or leave if only he waited long enough.
Silence stretched out between them like taffy as he waited and sipped his scotch, until Tsuna could feel himself warming and loosening a bit as the alcohol began to hit his system. It must have been doing the same to Xanxus, who said, "You don't own me."
Ah, so it was a disconnect between what Tsuna meant and what Xanxus was hearing. "Of course I don't. That's not what I mean when I call you that."
He left it at that, which earned him a sidelong glance that told him Xanxus knew exactly what he was trying to do. Xanxus played along anyway, which was a small victory that Tsuna was going to rejoice in later. "The fuck is it supposed to mean, then?"
"That you're someone I've decided deserves all of my care and protection. Someone I would like to see happy, if I can, in whatever capacity I can manage. That you're important to me. That I have a responsibility to you." Xanxus was staring at him by this point, confounded, and Tsuna met his eyes as he drained the last of the scotch from his glass and set it aside. "That you're Family. That's what it means when I call you my own." He lifted a hand and held it palm up. "If you'd rather I not call you that, I'll stop, but it won't change the fact that I've decided that you are important to me."
Xanxus rolled his eyes. "Sure you won't."
"If that means you don't trust me to respect your wishes, all I can tell you is that I'll do my best and let time prove which one of us is right." Tsuna let his Will uncurl a little then, relaxing into the certainty of it. "If what you really mean is that I'll change my mind, I suppose time will have to prove that, too. But you already know I can be very stubborn, and I know you're worth being stubborn for."
He wasn't entirely prepared for Xanxus to snort at that. "Stubborn. That's one way to put it."
Tsuna shrugged and smiled. "When it matters, yes."
Xanxus looked away from him again. "And you think this is one of those things."
"It is," Tsuna told him, Will rising a little higher. "It matters a great deal to me."
Xanxus shook his head before dropping it back to rest against the couch as he stared up at the ceiling. He seemed to be debating something with himself, so Tsuna kept quiet, waiting him out again. When Xanxus spoke again, he addressed himself to the ceiling. "You said I should come back. Before I… before."
"So I did," Tsuna murmured, watching him. "Did you?"
Xanxus grimaced and scrubbed a hand over his face. "Fuck if I know. Things are different with—they're different here. Quieter."
"I'm glad for that." Tsuna reached for him and rested his hand Xanxus' shoulder. "Thank you." When Xanxus turned his head enough to give him a look that clearly said What the fuck are you thanking me for? he smiled and clarified. "Thank you for coming to see me when things were becoming noisy. Thank you for not waiting until it was bad."
Xanxus made a face at him. "Whatever." He turned his eyes away again and added, presently, "This was a lot easier when we just fucked."
Tsuna was not going to laugh at the plaintive edge to Xanxus' complaint. He wasn't. "Maybe," he said once he had himself under control. "But were they better?"
Xanxus made a sound, noncommittal, instead of answering. He frowned at the ceiling, brows knit, and seemed to come to a decision. "Can we?" After a moment he saved Tsuna the trouble of figuring out what he meant by adding, "Fuck, I mean. Can we?"
Tsuna went ahead and let himself laugh this time. "Oh, Xanxus." He rocked himself forward, closing the little space between them, and threw a knee across Xanxus' lap to straddle him. His thigh muscles ached a bit with the stretch, reminding him all over again of the difference in their respective frames. (Not that he'd ever forgotten.) Xanxus blinked up at him, eyebrows rising, and Tsuna took Xanxus' face in his hands. He rubbed his thumbs along the crests of Xanxus' cheeks and stooped to kiss him, sliding his tongue into Xanxus' mouth and laying the clearest possible claim to it that he could muster. He didn't break away until Xanxus raised a hand to grip his shoulder, and rested his forehead against Xanxus'. "We can certainly do that." He stole another kiss, quick and soft. "We can do anything you like, Xanxus." He paused, but Xanxus never had said one way or the other. "My own."
Xanxus stared at him, absolutely still except for the quick puff of his breath against Tsuna's face. Then, just as Tsuna was preparing himself to apologize, Xanxus tightened the grip on his shoulder. "Whatever," he muttered before leaning up to press his mouth against Tsuna's.
That was as clear an acquiescence as he was likely to get. Tsuna hummed to him, delighted, and slid a hand into the shaggy fall of Xanxus' hair to return the kiss with ready enthusiasm. Xanxus was watching him from behind his lashes; there was no way to say what he was thinking without reaching out with his Flame, but he opened up readily enough, allowing himself to be kissed as he kept a secure grip on Tsuna's shoulder. "My own," he said again. "Never doubt how pleased I am to call you my own."
Xanxus cast his eyes to the heavens. "For fuck's sake, Sawada."
All right, then. Enough talking for now.
He fit his mouth against Xanxus' again, hot and hungry, and spread his hands against the solid breadth of his chest. As he did, Xanxus shifted beneath him, moving his hands to curl around Tsuna's hips and hold them. It was difficult to keep himself from reading too much into the gesture. Tsuna pushed the thought away and concentrated on chasing the last traces of scotch lingering on Xanxus' lips, and then just on the leisurely soft-slick movement of lips and tongue stroking against each other. By the time his mouth felt almost raw with the kisses they'd traded, Tsuna's slacks had become uncomfortably tight and he'd decided his next move.
He broke away from Xanxus' mouth, pulling back far enough to look at him and take in the color running high in his cheeks and the slick, red shine of his mouth. Xanxus stared back, apparently content to let Tsuna make the next move.
Tsuna touched his fingertips to Xanxus' mouth, following the swollen curve of his lips, and cleared his throat. "Sometimes I think about the day you ambushed me with a blowjob, you know. You just about melted my brain out my ears."
Score a point for instinct: Xanxus' pupils dilated as Tsuna spoke. At least some part of him liked that memory. Good.
He carried on when Xanxus remained silent, running his fingertips back and forth along the plushness of his bottom lip. "I don't know if you know how you looked that afternoon, but sometimes I can't look at you for too long because I can't help remembering the shape your mouth made around my cock. How red your lips were by the end. The way your hair felt in my hands." Oh, that was good—good enough that Xanxus took a breath through parted lips. Tsuna slipped his fingers between them, all the way to the second joint, index and middle fingers together, and rested them against Xanxus' tongue. "You were so good for me, my own. So very good."
Xanxus finally, finally uttered a sound at that, muffled around Tsuna's fingers. It sounded like it might have been a protest—no, he wasn't trying to pull away from Tsuna's fingers, so it wasn't that. He'd already given permission for the endearment, so… the compliment, then. The praise. "But you were," Tsuna told him, watching Xanxus closely. "You were so good for me. You were perfect." He drew his fingers back, slow, and then sank them into Xanxus' mouth again, deeper. The pressure of Xanxus' mouth changed around them as he swallowed, and then—
Xanxus curled his tongue slowly, dragging the point of it against the sensitive skin between Tsuna's fingers, watching Tsuna from behind his eyelashes.
Well then. Tsuna smiled at him, slow, and took the chance. "Do you want to be good for me today, Xanxus?"
Xanxus swallowed again, eyes so dark they were nearly black, and granted him the tiniest of nods.
Tsuna exhaled, slow and not quite steady. "Good. I'd like that very much." He drew his fingers free of Xanxus' mouth and slid out of his lap. Xanxus watched him step backwards until he'd found his desk; he passed his tongue over his lips as Tsuna leaned against it. Tsuna took a breath and crooked a finger at him. "Come here, my own."
There was a part of him that fully expected Xanxus to balk at the command, was prepared for another battle of wills, but Xanxus surprised him again. He rose slowly and his gait as he approached was stiff, but that could be due to any number of things. He paused just inside the edge of Tsuna's personal space, close enough that he was looming, and stopped there.
Maybe that was the point. Maybe this was a way of quieting some of the noisiness inside Xanxus' head.
Tsuna tipped his head back to meet Xanxus' eyes. "I want you on your knees, my own."
Xanxus' eyes sparked, enough that Tsuna tensed, but no—that wasn't outrage, was it? Still moving slowly, Xanxus sank to his knees.
Tsuna's mouth ran dry with the sudden surge of his own response. When he reached out to brush the hair from Xanxus' eyes, his fingers shook just a bit. "Good," he breathed, and saw Xanxus' eyes flare hotter. "That's very good." He wasn't the only one of them with an obscene tent in his slacks, either. Jesus.
His fingers still shook when he dropped his hands to his belt to undo it and unfasten his slacks. Xanxus' gaze flicked from his face to his hands, back and forth again, until Tsuna dipped his fingers into his boxers to free himself. When he did, Xanxus' eyes stayed there, gaze fastened to the flushed length of Tsuna's cock, already starting to drip.
"Now." The words rasped out of Tsuna's throat. "Be good for me, my own."
He scarcely breathed as Xanxus wet his lips again and leaned forward to close his mouth around the head of his cock. The heat of his mouth and the sight of his lips wrapped around him punched a gasp out of Tsuna, airless, and he gripped the edge of his desk hard enough to make his knuckles ache. "God. God, Xanxus." Xanxus was still watching him, eyes dark beneath the fall of his hair, and he held himself still.
Tsuna unclenched his fingers to cup Xanxus' jaw and rest his thumb at the corner of Xanxus' mouth. "That's a good start, but I'm going to need more than that from you." Which was both true and not, though Tsuna didn't really care to test whether he could come from this alone.
He was prepared to give more explicit instruction, but Xanxus pressed closer. The first exploratory stroke of his tongue was soft and not entirely confident, but more than enough to light every nerve Tsuna possessed on fire. He groaned, the sound rough in his throat, and shuddered as Xanxus swiped his tongue over him again, exploring him—Jesus, Xanxus was testing what worked for Tsuna, was varying the pressure of his tongue in response to the sounds Tsuna was making.
Tsuna had to sink his teeth into his lip until he tasted blood just to keep himself from coming on the spot. "God, you're so good, my own," he breathed, reaching down to hold Xanxus' face between his hands. "Now relax for me."
Xanxus widened his eyes, then Tsuna felt the muscles of his jaw soften under his fingers. "Very good." He rolled his hips forward, sinking cock into Xanxus' mouth until the infinitesimal tension in Xanxus' muscles told him that he was reaching the man's limits. He held himself there, breathing hard with how hot Xanxus' mouth was around him, how Xanxus looked in his hands, eyes gone hazy. "God, Xanxus, just look at you, my own. Look at how good you are for me."
Xanxus' eyes fluttered, going heavy-lidded, and he finally made a sound, something very like a hum of satisfaction. Tsuna groaned as his mouth vibrated around him and drew back, transfixed by the wet slide of his cock passing over Xanxus' lips. "So good," he whispered, cradling Xanxus' face in his hands and rocking forward, fucking his mouth slowly. "You're so fucking good." There was no way he was going to last, no amount of self-control enough to hold himself back from the edge for very long, so he stopped fighting it. Tsuna rocked against Xanxus steadily, praising him with every movement of his hips as the heat ratcheted tighter and tighter, until he could feel himself teetering on the verge of coming. He rubbed his thumb along Xanxus' cheek. "I'm so close… can you take it?"
Xanxus groaned around him and sucked, mouth going hard and tight around Tsuna's cock, and that was that—Tsuna held him and drove his hips forward, body jerking as he spilled himself into Xanxus' mouth, cock pulsing over his tongue as pleasure rolled through him. He moaned as he came, though he hardly knew what he was saying—Xanxus' name or curses or praise or maybe all three jumbled together—until the rush of it subsided again and he was able to sag back against the support of his desk, panting, and he slipped free of Xanxus' mouth.
Then, dazed, he saw Xanxus' throat bob as he swallowed, and another shudder wracked him, shocking and sudden. "Fuck, Xanxus—!"
Xanxus stared up at him, perhaps as surprised as Tsuna himself was, though that second unexpected spasm had really only splattered a few flecks of come across his chin and lips. His mouth moved, silent, shaping the syllables of Tsuna's name, perhaps, but that was all.
No, it wasn't. Xanxus had his knees planted wide, and his slacks were stretched tight, straining against the unmistakable line of his cock.
"Take your cock out." Tsuna barely recognized his own voice or the decision to issue that order. "Let me see how hard you are for me."
Xanxus' hands flew to his belt, nearly fumbling with it in his haste to undo it and shove everything down. He groaned as his cock sprang free, and Tsuna groaned with him. Xanxus was very hard for him, cock dripping where it jutted up against the crisp white of his shirt. "God," Tsuna breathed. "God, look at you."
"You like looking." It was somewhere between declaration and inquiry, or maybe entreaty.
"You're very good to look at." It wasn't a simple statement to make to Xanxus, Tsuna knew that perfectly well, but it was still true. All the same, he moved on before Xanxus could do more than knit his brows together. "I want to see more. Touch your cock."
Xanxus grunted at him, the perfunctory sound not quite masking his relief as he wrapped a hand around himself, smearing precome down his shaft as he fisted himself. He hissed through his teeth, jerking his hips up the tiniest bit before he caught himself and stilled them again.
To think that there were people who thought Xanxus didn't have any self-control.
Tsuna fanned his fingers over Xanxus' cheek, smearing them through the flecks of drying come. "You're magnificent." He reached for his Flame, let it rise and fill his voice with conviction. "Absolutely, breathtakingly magnificent." He rubbed his thumb over Xanxus' mouth, all red and swollen, hushing him before he could argue. "Keep going. I want to see you make yourself come for me."
Xanxus shuddered, groaning, lips parting as the sound ground out of his throat, and obeyed. Tsuna continued to caress his cheek as Xanxus flexed his wrist back and forth, fisting his cock with short, fast strokes that said more clearly than words could how close to the edge he already was. Tsuna watched avidly, drinking in the way Xanxus' hand fitted around his own cock and the soft, wet sound of skin sliding over skin as Xanxus' breath began to come faster. "Magnificent," he said again, laying his Flame against Xanxus' heart so the man would know how absolutely true it was, how viscerally satisfying it was to watch him take his pleasure and to know that he was the one who'd chosen to initiate the entire encounter.
Xanxus groaned again, squeezing his eyes shut as he tipped his head back. Tsuna could feel him, how close he was in the way he strained for something just a little more—
Tsuna sank his fingers into Xanxus' hair, twisting them in it and holding him firmly. "Now, my own. Come for me."
Xanxus gasped and bucked against his own fist, coming over his fingers in long pulses. Tsuna gripped his hair tightly as Xanxus shook, throat corded taut, and did not release him until Xanxus sagged and hunched in on himself, breathing hard.
"That was perfect." Tsuna folded himself onto his knees and pulled Xanxus to him for a kiss. He could taste himself when he swept his tongue against Xanxus' and when he brushed his lips over Xanxus' face, kissing away the mess while Xanxus made a shocked sound. "Perfect," Tsuna told him again, shaping the word against Xanxus' mouth. "You did such a good job for me."
He hated the way he could feel Xanxus' heart yearning after that praise, greedy for it the way drought-parched soil was greedy for water, but if that was what Xanxus needed from him, he was more than happy to provide it.
Xanxus, still dazed, allowed him to attend to the rest of the mess they'd made. He seemed no closer to rousing by the time Tsuna had tucked them both away and done up their flies again. Tsuna pursed his lips—why not try? He slid a hand up Xanxus' chest and over his shoulder. "Come here, my own?"
Astonishingly, Xanxus obeyed him, shifting forward when Tsuna drew him closer and allowing Tsuna to wrap his arms around him. He moved slowly, uncertainly, perhaps not entirely following Tsuna's intentions, but he allowed Tsuna to arrange them nonetheless. By the time Tsuna was satisfied, Xanxus was leaning against him. He was too large for Tsuna to tuck under his chin, but he consented to rest his head against Tsuna's shoulder, which was the next best thing.
Tsuna set his hand on Xanxus' nape, holding him, rubbing his thumb along Xanxus' hairline. "Very good, my own. This is so very good."
Xanxus didn't say anything, but he sighed after a moment and settled imperceptibly closer. It was its own answer, as was the fact that it took a very long time for him to make any attempt to pull away.
Yes, Tsuna decided, they were finally starting to get somewhere with this.
Characters/Pairings: Tsuna/Xanxus; Squalo, Yamamoto, Gokudera\
Summary: In which Xanxus starts to learn to use his words and he and Tsuna uncover another kink.
Notes: Smut, D/s, praise kink, 8389 words.Winner Take All Index
Winner's Choice
Perhaps it was fortunate that Xanxus stayed scarce for a while after the most recent installment of their philosophical discussion—at least for Hayato's peace of mind. Tsuna himself was far less sure whether it was such a good sign, particularly considering the invitation he'd issued Xanxus. He couldn't help suspecting—worrying—that Xanxus was spending his time away from the Vongola house brooding on the matter and no doubt getting his head all twisted up again. It did seem to be his standard procedure, after all.
They were the independent assassination squad, and for the moment things in the mafia world stood in an uneasy equilibrium. Tsuna therefore did not have any occasion to request Xanxus' presence, let alone the standing to expect the man would obey such a summons. Nor did Tsuna care to press his luck by reminding Xanxus of their relative positions (as if Xanxus would—could—ever forget that). So, as the days passed and became one week, then two, Tsuna waited and worried.
He didn't see Xanxus again, in fact, until the monthly meeting of the Family's major players—his Guardians, CEDEF, the outside advisor, and of course the Varia. In his more whimsical moments, Tsuna still marveled a bit at how running a criminal empire could be so similar to running a corporate empire, though the one time he'd mentioned the comparison out loud, Mukuro-behind-Chrome's-face had said, bland, "Aren't they the same thing, though?" And Tsuna hadn't really been able to argue the point.
Tsuna wouldn't have been surprised had Xanxus sent Squalo to this meeting in his stead. He had before out of sheer orneriness rather than complicated matters of his loyalty and his place in the Family (Tsuna's Family), but not this time. He stalked in, Squalo at his heels, and threw himself into his usual seat. His contributions were clipped and curt to the point of outright rudeness, but that wasn't unusual, either. Not really.
Perhaps he planned to make another unscheduled appearance in Tsuna's office at the close of the meeting, but Tsuna had already decided not to leave that to chance. He gave it a moment or two after adjourning the meeting and then, as if he'd just thought of something, said, "Oh, I nearly forgot—Xanxus, do you have a few minutes?" Xanxus grunted something that a generous soul might have been able to construe as an affirmative while Squalo cast a narrow-eyed look Tsuna's way. "Good. Would you meet me in my office?"
That netted him another grunt. More interesting was the collection of responses from the various witnesses to the exchange. The CEDEF representatives took no notice; neither did Irie. Squalo's expression went blank and Hayato choked slightly, while Takeshi lifted his eyebrows just a bit. Neither Ryouhei nor Lambo took any notice, Kyouya had already vanished, and Chrome—or Mukuro—or both—looked to be highly entertained.
Well. Tsuna hadn't supposed that his Family would remain entirely oblivious forever. He might have hoped they would, but expected it? Not really, which was apparently just as well.
Xanxus stalked out, Squalo following close behind, without so much as a backward glance as the meeting's aftermath continued. Hayato turned up at Tsuna's elbow with a frown creasing his forehead. "Tenth, I didn't realize we were going to have a meeting with Xanxus today—"
Takeshi wandered over after him and interrupted while Tsuna was puzzling through a tactful way of explaining that they didn't have a meeting at all, which of course Hayato already knew perfectly well. He dropped a hand on Hayato's shoulder. "Hey, you got a minute? I saw something in the Caraceni files that's weird and I need your opinion on it."
"Can it wait? The Tenth has a meeting—"
Bless Hayato's heart and his earnest efforts to save Tsuna from himself, and bless Takeshi for the out. "It's nothing formal," Tsuna said gently, to Hayato's clear consternation. "I'll certainly let you know if that changes, but it sounds like Takeshi has the better claim on you just now."
"But—" Hayato began, only for Takeshi to interrupt with sunny good cheer. "You heard the man. Seriously, come help me, the numbers are weird and I can't wrap my brain around them." He was not-so-subtly propelling Hayato in the direction of the door.
Hayato surrendered. "That's because you don't have a brain," he muttered resentfully.
Takeshi laughed. "I guess not! Later, Tsuna, have fun with your meeting!"
Tsuna was fairly sure that made Hayato groan, but perhaps it was only his imagination.
With his good-intentioned right hand successfully diverted, Tsuna was free to turn his steps toward his own office, only to find that he wasn't quite finished dealing with right hands after all. Squalo leaned against the wall across from his office, one leg drawn up and his boot firmly planted against the plaster. He had his arms folded across his chest and his lips made a thin slash across his face.
Tsuna paused and they regarded each other silently until Squalo spoke. "What's this about?"
Thinking on it, Tsuna was surprised that this hadn't come up sooner, given Squalo's fierce loyalty to Xanxus. "Checking in," he said after a moment's reflection. "From there…" He shrugged. "I suppose we'll see."
Squalo's expression deepened into a scowl. "No. I asked you what this is about."
Ah. Of course Squalo would be wondering about that. Whether he would understand any answer Tsuna gave him… well. The only thing to do was provide it and hope for the best. "One of my people needs something and I'm doing the best I can to make sure he gets it."
Squalo shifted, unfolding his arms and flexing his fingers as though he wanted to reach for something—the hilt of a sword or perhaps just Tsuna's throat. "He's not yours."
"He is mine," Tsuna told him, firm and clear, Will singing reflexively to back the bald rebuttal. "For as long as he chooses to be, he's mine. And I take care of my people." His brain caught up to his instincts at that point and he had to clear his throat against the faintly boggled stare Squalo was giving him. "Um."
Squalo shook his head and pushed away from the wall. "And they call him crazy." Tsuna felt that was a bit rich, given the source. "Just so you know, if you fuck this up I'll kill you." He might have been remarking on the weather, as casually as he had delivered the threat, but Tsuna had no doubt he meant every syllable.
"Noted," he said.
Squalo jerked his chin in something that might have been a nod and strode away.
Tsuna sighed—at least Takeshi had diverted Hayato and spared them all the screaming fit that little exchange would have given him—and let himself into his office.
He found Xanxus pacing the room the same way a tiger might pace a cage: restless and unceasing, though he stopped as Tsuna entered the room. Xanxus leveled a glare at him. "The fuck do you want."
Tsuna deliberated turned the lock, but Takeshi had Hayato in custody and no one else was likely to interrupt while he was meeting with Xanxus. The gamble was worth it to make sure Xanxus knew he wasn't making assumptions. "I haven't seen you lately. I wanted to be sure that all is well with you."
Xanxus sneered. "Are you really that desperate for it? You're pathetic."
He clearly hadn't jumped the gun. Perhaps he'd even been too slow to act. "Of course I'd be happy to go to bed with you, my own. But that's not why I asked you to come by. I haven't seen you and I wanted to know how you are." He came away from the door and skirted past Xanxus, who revolved in place to follow his progress, and hoisted himself up to sit on his desk.
"Don't call me that." The snarl seemed automatic, and yes, he definitely had left this too long.
Tsuna repressed the urge to sigh. "If you'd rather I not, certainly." He reached for his Will, let it rise in his voice as he watched Xanxus, studying the scowl the man wore in hopes of seeing what it was masking. "You're still my own, either way."
There. Xanxus shifted his weight the slightest bit, as though to lean forward. Then he snarled again. "The fuck I'm yours, you piece of trash."
Tsuna let his Will surge up and lifted a hand, holding it out to Xanxus. He nearly slipped into command, thinking of the things they had done together before, but thought better of it. He turned his palm up, an invitation. "Xanxus, my own. Come here?"
Xanxus didn't move, still glaring at him, but there was something in it that hinted of confusion. "Why?"
Tsuna kept his hand stretched out to Xanxus, his gaze steady. "Because I want you." Xanxus' eyes widened as he shook his head, denying it, so Tsuna repeated himself, anchored in the clarity of his Will. "I want you and I choose you, Xanxus. I would show you so, if you will permit it."
Xanxus shook his head again, but it was easier to see, now, that it was less outright refusal than denial, which made too much sense in light of what had passed between them the last time they'd been together. "You can't—you don't."
"I do." Tsuna beckoned him closer. "Come here and I'll show you." He could feel Xanxus through his Will, the dense tangle of rage and fear and confusion threaded through with something that felt like longing, but he made no move to take hold of Xanxus. Better to see if the man would accept the invitation instead. So he waited, and hoped, while Xanxus hesitated, until he felt the waver in Xanxus' resolve. He beckoned again. "Xanxus, my own. Please."
At last Xanxus moved—toward him, not away, one slow step, then another, at war with himself as he did. His third step brought him close enough to the desk that Tsuna could have touched the tips of his fingers to Xanxus' chest just by leaning forward a bit.
Instead he smiled at Xanxus, encouraging, and curled his fingers, gesturing him closer. "My own. Will you let me show you?"
Xanxus balked again—disappointing, but not a surprise. Not really. "You don't really—you don't." To Tsuna's ears, it sounded more like You can't.
"But I do," Tsuna said, steady. "I promised you the truth, and I keep my promises. Let me remind you."
The little shudder that rocked Xanxus might have gotten past him if he hadn't been watching so closely. "Damn you," Xanxus said, helpless (hopeless), and took Tsuna's hand.
Tsuna sighed his name, drawing Xanxus closer, close enough for Xanxus to step between his knees. "I do wish you didn't feel like you needed to fight this." He lifted his free hand to Xanxus' cheek as his expression twisted. "No, I know. I just wish it had been otherwise for you, my own. It should have been otherwise."
"You're so weak." Xanxus' voice had dropped. "It's disgusting, how weak you are." He made no move to pull away from Tsuna's hands. There was something that might have been the faintest trace of longing in his words.
Tsuna rubbed his thumb back and forth against the sharp angle of Xanxus' cheekbone. "Caring for the wellbeing of my people doesn't make me weak. It's the source of my strength. It always has been." He stretched out his Flame, reaching for Xanxus to touch, not to hold. Not yet. "Will you let me show you?"
"You're going to do what you want whatever I say," Xanxus muttered, making no move to pull away from Tsuna's hand on his cheek or the Flame resting against his heart.
It both was and was not enough. "No, my own. Never without your permission, I promise you that." He opened himself up to Xanxus, offering welcome—a risk to do so, if Xanxus should decide to lash out, but a calculated risk. "This should always be something chosen, not taken."
He held himself there, waiting, laid bare to Xanxus, but only if Xanxus chose to move forward, to reach out for him. Heaven only knew what he might do with a thorough knowledge of Tsuna's own scars and sorrows. They'd have to cross that bridge when they came to it, if Xanxus chose that path. But he was going to hope that Xanxus would not.
Xanxus stared at him, bewilderment clear in the wrinkle of his brow and the way he hadn't moved—poised in a moment of confusion. Whatever he had expected, it was not this. "You—" he said, and stopped there as he roiled with indecision. "Why would you—?"
It must have seemed utterly senseless to him to show any vulnerability at all, let alone to someone who'd tried to kill him more than once, Tsuna reflected. To be fair, it was a bit insane, but what part of his life wasn't insane? "Come and find out," he told Xanxus. "I'll show you."
Xanxus wavered a moment longer and then moved, his Flame rising with breathtaking swiftness. Tsuna gasped against the weight of it as Xanxus stretched it out, taking hold of him much the same as Tsuna had the last time they'd been together. Tsuna dropped his hand to Xanxus' shoulder, gripping it tightly, and twisted his fingers with Xanxus' as Xanxus sank his Flame home. Xanxus grunted a curse, shocked—Tsuna could feel that Xanxus had expected resistance, a trap, not to be welcomed in.
Had not expected Tsuna to lay himself bare for Xanxus' inspection—all of himself, not only the positives (his welcome of Xanxus, part and parcel of the love he felt for all his people, the pride he took in his Family and in transforming it from what it had become by the time he'd taken it over to the force for good it was becoming, something better than it had been, something more like what Giotto had meant for it to be) but also the negatives (his guilt for the wrongs he had not been able to right, for all the blood spilled in his name and on his behalf, the mistakes he'd made, the frustrations and impatience and the times when he didn't know whether there was any point to it at all) and the scars and vulnerabilities that continued to haunt him to this day (Dame-Tsuna, No-Good Tsuna, clumsy useless weak ineffectual Tsuna who would never amount to anything, never achieve anything, never be worth anything at all). He laid it all before Xanxus to make of what he would and wound it round with his hope—no, his faith—that Xanxus would see. Would understand.
And it seemed that, will-he nil-he, Xanxus did understand. He snatched his Flame back almost as soon as he'd laid it on Tsuna's heart, hissing a curse as he did, and fixed a wild stare on Tsuna. "You—"
"They think of wrath when they think of you," Tsuna said, his voice not quite steady. "But you're Sky, too. You're Vongola, too. So you know how to see, if you want to. If you want to understand." It was unsettling to have opened himself up like that, to have felt himself utterly known, if only for a moment. He took a breath, trying to ground himself, and reached out with his Will. "Do you see, my own? Do you understand?"
He wasn't sure at first whether Xanxus was even processing his words, not when Xanxus continued to stare at him, not when he could feel the way the man's heart roiled and seethed with shock—disbelief—confusion. Then Xanxus spoke, his voice hoarse. "Dame-Tsuna. No-Good Tsuna. " His tone pitched up at the end like a question.
Tsuna nodded; it felt more like a grimace when he tried to smile. "I don't know whether it was better that they thought so little of me that they could call me worthless to my face," he said. "But at least I know where I stood." He dropped his hand from Xanxus' shoulder to lay it against his heart. "The only voice that ever called you worthless came from here." His smile this time felt more like a real smile. "But we can prove all those voices wrong, can't we? We have proven them wrong."
"You, maybe." Xanxus' voice was rough.
Tsuna reached for his heart and wrapped his Flame around it. "And you as well," he said, letting his Will underscore his meaning with all the respect he had for Xanxus' raw strength and ability, yes, but also his respect for the man's sheer refusal to be defeated by all the things that might have destroyed a lesser personality. "You are so much, my own, and I cherish you for all that you are, for how you demand the very best of me. Even when you're challenging me, fighting me every step of the way, I value you. Every part of you." Xanxus tried to recoil, body and heart alike. Tsuna hung onto him, determined that Xanxus should know this much, whatever he chose to do with that knowledge. "You are my own, part of my Family, because I want you to be, not because of any Vongola traditions. I want you here, I want you, and no matter what else passes between us, that will not change."
"Sawada," Xanxus said; there was no way to tell whether it was a protest or a complaint, but he wasn't straining quite so hard against Tsuna's hands or his Will (if he'd ever been really trying at all; given that Tsuna hadn't been pulled right off his desk and dumped on the floor, Tsuna wondered).
"See for yourself, if you don't believe me," Tsuna murmured, watching him.
Xanxus leveled a look at him that put him in mind of Hayato, of all people. "Don't you have any sense of fucking self-preservation?"
Tsuna couldn't stop the laughter that bubbled out of him in response to that single exasperated question—did Xanxus know how much he had conceded by asking it? "I do, but it usually doesn't kick in unless I really need it." He dropped his hand from Xanxus' chest and laid it over the hand he already held. "I don't need it at the moment." He paused there, looking at Xanxus. "Do I?"
Xanxus broke his gaze away and growled. "You talk so fucking much." It was its own sort of answer.
"A hazard of the job, I'm afraid." Tsuna smoothed his thumb over Xanxus'. "I've covered all the points I wanted to make. Did you have anything to bring up?"
Xanxus whipped his head back around to stare at him so quickly that Tsuna didn't quite have enough time to arrange his expression in a suitably bland way, which was all the confirmation Xanxus needed that yes, that innuendo had been purely intentional. "You—!" By the feel of his Will, he didn't know whether to be outraged, baffled, or simply impressed by Tsuna's effrontery. (He might have even been the tiniest bit amused, though Tsuna didn't entirely trust his own sense of that.)
Tsuna gave in and grinned at him. "Does that mean you wanted to raise something with me or not?"
(No, it really was amusement, however reluctant. Tsuna tucked that away to marvel over later.) "I wish I'd killed you when I had the chance."
Tsuna shrugged at him. "I hear that a lot." He smiled at the way Xanxus rolled his eyes. "In all seriousness, I wanted to speak to you, and I have, and I didn't have any ulterior motives beyond that. I'd be happy to go to bed with you this afternoon, of course, but that would be a pleasant bonus. I'll understand if you're not in the mood for it."
Xanxus stared at him rather as though he'd just begun speaking Greek—he was pretty sure Xanxus didn't have any Greek. "…what?"
Clearly he was going to need to be even plainer in his meaning. "All I really wanted was to check on you. I'd be delighted to fuck you, but only if you want that."
Huh. He'd never actually seen Xanxus go slack-jawed before. He wouldn't have thought it possible. "What?"
"Or you could fuck me, obviously—you know I don't mind switching." Maybe it was a little bad of him to tease Xanxus, but he had to wonder whether anyone had ever done so in the friendly way before. Given how flabbergasted Xanxus' reaction was, he assumed not. "I definitely enjoyed the last time we were together."
"You…" Xanxus stopped there, scrutinizing him. "You aren't joking."
"No, I'm not." Tsuna let go of Xanxus' hand and leaned back on his own. "Not about enjoying switching and not about having sex with you." Xanxus continued to stare at him, so perhaps he'd pushed enough. "I'd enjoy being kissed right now, if you're up for it." He smiled at the way Xanxus grimaced. "I can't keep talking with someone else's tongue in my mouth, you know," he added, purely in the spirit of helpfulness.
Xanxus did not quite roll his eyes, but did lean in to seal his mouth to Tsuna's, so Tsuna was content to call that a win. He spread his knees wider to make room for Xanxus and opened his mouth for the stroke of Xanxus' tongue against his. Given concrete action to perform, Xanxus seemed to settle; when Tsuna lifted a hand to settle it against his nape, there was at least a little give in the muscles there and Xanxus didn't flinch away from the touch.
All the same, it didn't feel like the intent was there. Tsuna hummed against Xanxus' lips and drew back from him slightly. "Thank you, my own," he said as Xanxus frowned. "That was very nice and all I really needed." He cupped Xanxus' cheek gently. "You're probably going to go away from here and start overthinking all the things I just said to you and then start convincing yourself that I didn't really mean any of it. Please come back to me before you start to believe that."
Of course Xanxus chose to focus on the least important part of that. "Aren't we going to fuck?"
"I don't think your heart is really in it this afternoon," Tsuna murmured. "So no, I don't believe we are."
"But you want to."
The honest confusion on Xanxus' face made his heart ache. "I want many things, Xanxus, but not if they aren't freely given. I don't think this would be." He leaned forward and kissed Xanxus again, simple and chaste, and then smiled at him. "I'm sure you have other things to attend to, so I'll let you be about them. Just remember to come see me again before you overthink things too much, okay?"
Xanxus didn't reply, staring at him with that puzzled frown still knitting his eyebrows together. At length he grunted and spun away from Tsuna, striding for the door and slamming it behind him.
He probably was going to overthink it all, Tsuna concluded, a bit rueful, but that was fine. Either he would obey the request Tsuna had made of him or he would come again when Tsuna called, so it would work out in the end.
Hayato tossed off the drink and dropped his head back down, pressing his forehead to the desk and groaning. "Just—Xanxus. Why does it have to be Xanxus?"
"Tsuna probably has his reasons," Takeshi tried.
Nope, Hayato wasn't going to have any of that. "It's Xanxus," he moaned. "Xanxus! Ten pounds of psychopath in a two-pound sack! What is the Tenth thinking?" He raised his head and fixed a mournful look on Takeshi. "If he wants to stick his dick in the crazy, why not Mukuro? What else do we keep him around for?"
Takeshi didn't laugh, though it took a somewhat heroic effort not to. "Mist Guardian things, I guess? Also, I think Mukuro is a lot less crazy these days than he used to be. Maybe Tsuna just wanted a new project." That was the feeling he'd gotten, anyway.
"But Xanxus!" Hayato was all but wailing by this point. "What could he possibly see in Xanxus?"
One of these days Hayato was going to have to learn not to ask any questions he didn't want an actual answer to, and this might as well be that day. "Well—"
Or maybe not. Hayato stopped him, leveling a finger and a hard look at Takeshi. "No. Don't you dare answer that. You sleep with Hibari and Squalo and your opinions are clearly as skewed as your tastes."
"You really shouldn't knock it till you've tried it," Takeshi told him.
Hayato shuddered. "No thank you."
"Your loss, really."
"You're insane." Hayato pushed his glass over to Takeshi, who obliged him with a refill and by refraining from any comments about pots and kettles and their respective colors. "Xanxus, though. Christ."
"It'll work out," Takeshi consoled him. "It's Tsuna, right? So it'll be fine. It always is."
"Fucking optimists." Hayato scowled and drank. "You're the fucking worst."
"If you say so." Takeshi pushed the Caraceni folder at him. "So are you going to look at these numbers for me or not?"
Hayato heaved a sigh and flipped it open. "Sure, why the hell not? It's not like the Tenth is gonna need me for the next couple of hours anyway." He frowned down at the first of the papers in the folder. "What am I looking at, anyway?"
"That's what I was hoping you could tell me. Those Medina numbers look all wrong to me."
Hayato was already puzzling through them, reaching for a pen absently to jot figures down as he went.
And that was one distraction successfully engineered, Takeshi congratulated himself, and kept his grin carefully under wraps.
Tsuna definitely owed him one for this.
Had he been inclined to lay bets about such things, Tsuna would have bet that Xanxus would not heed his request to come back before he'd persuaded himself that Tsuna hadn't meant the things he'd said.
Just as well that he didn't make bets about such things, even with himself, for here was Xanxus, sprawled on his couch with arms folded across his chest and a scowl creasing his features, waiting in his office when Tsuna hadn't expected him back from Prague for several more days.
Not that Tsuna assumed that Xanxus had come to him on personal business, not at first. Irie, coming in behind him, uttered a quiet exclamation upon seeing Xanxus—he was far less at ease with the Varia than most of Tsuna's immediate circle—and Tsuna's mind turned immediately to the reason they'd sent Xanxus to Prague to begin with. "Has there been trouble?" He hadn't thought there would be, since Xanxus was the least subtle way he knew of making sure everyone knew that he was serious about the point he was making, but one never really knew.
Xanxus grunted. "No. No problems. Got something to talk to you about."
Oh, Tsuna thought, I'll be damned. "I see. Irie, do you mind if we reschedule for tomorrow morning?"
"Not at all, Tenth," Irie said, hasty. "I'll see you then. Around eight?"
"That'll be fine," Tsuna said and did not smile as Irie fled.
Xanxus didn't comment, but the slight curl of his lips was eloquent enough in its own way.
Tsuna shrugged at him—the man knew perfectly well how intimidating most of the Vongola found him and generally seemed to enjoy that fact—and closed the door after Irie. "I didn't expect you back for a few more days. This is unusually efficient, even for you."
Xanxus' eyes never left Tsuna as he came away from the door and crossed the room. "Černý just about pissed himself when he saw me. Maybe he'll even stick to the agreement once he's crawled out from under his bed."
"I imagine he will. After all, if I have to send you to Prague again, it won't be to negotiate." Černý loved his own skin enough that the threat of certain death ought to keep him in line. If not… Tsuna couldn't say that ordering an execution was ever easy, but he thought he'd sleep well enough in a world with one less trafficker in it.
"You're soft." Xanxus made the observation in a tone that was practically clinical, for him. He hardly sneered at all. "You're probably gonna send me back out there in six months."
Tsuna paused at the sideboard and considered the implicit question in what Xanxus was saying. He poured a finger of scotch for himself and two fingers for Xanxus. "Probably I will." He brought the glasses over to the couch. "But maybe I won't have to. And that possibility is enough that I feel I need to give him the chance to become more than what he is right now."
Now Xanxus did sneer, even as he accepted the glass Tsuna held out to him. "Bet that works out for you all the fucking time, huh?" He knocked the scotch back with absolute disregard for its age and quality.
Out of consideration for the cleaning staff, Tsuna waited until he'd swallowed to say, "It works out more often than you'd think. I've had quite a lot of success with you, after all."
He sipped his scotch serenely as Xanxus' eyes went wide and he began to sputter, then settled himself on the couch and angled himself to face Xanxus' sprawl. "But never mind that. You said you had something to discuss, my own?"
As he'd rather hoped it might, the question cut Xanxus off mid-sputter. Or perhaps the pet name did. Either way, he glared at Tsuna, gone sullen, and grunted. "Don't call me that."
"Always two steps forward and one step back," Tsuna sighed, rueful but not particularly surprised. "At least you're consistent." He allowed himself another mouthful of scotch. "I call you my own because you are mine, and because I doubt there are any other endearments you'd like better. Do feel free to correct me if I'm mistaken."
Xanxus sneered at him and then looked away. "Or you could just use my fucking name."
"Or I could do that, I suppose." Tsuna sipped his drink, rolling the scotch over his tongue to give them both a moment to reflect. "Do you truly want me to stop?"
A muscle flickered in Xanxus' jaw as the man sat in stony silence, refusing to look at him. Tsuna let him be and turned his glass in his hands, trusting that Xanxus would answer, change the subject, or leave if only he waited long enough.
Silence stretched out between them like taffy as he waited and sipped his scotch, until Tsuna could feel himself warming and loosening a bit as the alcohol began to hit his system. It must have been doing the same to Xanxus, who said, "You don't own me."
Ah, so it was a disconnect between what Tsuna meant and what Xanxus was hearing. "Of course I don't. That's not what I mean when I call you that."
He left it at that, which earned him a sidelong glance that told him Xanxus knew exactly what he was trying to do. Xanxus played along anyway, which was a small victory that Tsuna was going to rejoice in later. "The fuck is it supposed to mean, then?"
"That you're someone I've decided deserves all of my care and protection. Someone I would like to see happy, if I can, in whatever capacity I can manage. That you're important to me. That I have a responsibility to you." Xanxus was staring at him by this point, confounded, and Tsuna met his eyes as he drained the last of the scotch from his glass and set it aside. "That you're Family. That's what it means when I call you my own." He lifted a hand and held it palm up. "If you'd rather I not call you that, I'll stop, but it won't change the fact that I've decided that you are important to me."
Xanxus rolled his eyes. "Sure you won't."
"If that means you don't trust me to respect your wishes, all I can tell you is that I'll do my best and let time prove which one of us is right." Tsuna let his Will uncurl a little then, relaxing into the certainty of it. "If what you really mean is that I'll change my mind, I suppose time will have to prove that, too. But you already know I can be very stubborn, and I know you're worth being stubborn for."
He wasn't entirely prepared for Xanxus to snort at that. "Stubborn. That's one way to put it."
Tsuna shrugged and smiled. "When it matters, yes."
Xanxus looked away from him again. "And you think this is one of those things."
"It is," Tsuna told him, Will rising a little higher. "It matters a great deal to me."
Xanxus shook his head before dropping it back to rest against the couch as he stared up at the ceiling. He seemed to be debating something with himself, so Tsuna kept quiet, waiting him out again. When Xanxus spoke again, he addressed himself to the ceiling. "You said I should come back. Before I… before."
"So I did," Tsuna murmured, watching him. "Did you?"
Xanxus grimaced and scrubbed a hand over his face. "Fuck if I know. Things are different with—they're different here. Quieter."
"I'm glad for that." Tsuna reached for him and rested his hand Xanxus' shoulder. "Thank you." When Xanxus turned his head enough to give him a look that clearly said What the fuck are you thanking me for? he smiled and clarified. "Thank you for coming to see me when things were becoming noisy. Thank you for not waiting until it was bad."
Xanxus made a face at him. "Whatever." He turned his eyes away again and added, presently, "This was a lot easier when we just fucked."
Tsuna was not going to laugh at the plaintive edge to Xanxus' complaint. He wasn't. "Maybe," he said once he had himself under control. "But were they better?"
Xanxus made a sound, noncommittal, instead of answering. He frowned at the ceiling, brows knit, and seemed to come to a decision. "Can we?" After a moment he saved Tsuna the trouble of figuring out what he meant by adding, "Fuck, I mean. Can we?"
Tsuna went ahead and let himself laugh this time. "Oh, Xanxus." He rocked himself forward, closing the little space between them, and threw a knee across Xanxus' lap to straddle him. His thigh muscles ached a bit with the stretch, reminding him all over again of the difference in their respective frames. (Not that he'd ever forgotten.) Xanxus blinked up at him, eyebrows rising, and Tsuna took Xanxus' face in his hands. He rubbed his thumbs along the crests of Xanxus' cheeks and stooped to kiss him, sliding his tongue into Xanxus' mouth and laying the clearest possible claim to it that he could muster. He didn't break away until Xanxus raised a hand to grip his shoulder, and rested his forehead against Xanxus'. "We can certainly do that." He stole another kiss, quick and soft. "We can do anything you like, Xanxus." He paused, but Xanxus never had said one way or the other. "My own."
Xanxus stared at him, absolutely still except for the quick puff of his breath against Tsuna's face. Then, just as Tsuna was preparing himself to apologize, Xanxus tightened the grip on his shoulder. "Whatever," he muttered before leaning up to press his mouth against Tsuna's.
That was as clear an acquiescence as he was likely to get. Tsuna hummed to him, delighted, and slid a hand into the shaggy fall of Xanxus' hair to return the kiss with ready enthusiasm. Xanxus was watching him from behind his lashes; there was no way to say what he was thinking without reaching out with his Flame, but he opened up readily enough, allowing himself to be kissed as he kept a secure grip on Tsuna's shoulder. "My own," he said again. "Never doubt how pleased I am to call you my own."
Xanxus cast his eyes to the heavens. "For fuck's sake, Sawada."
All right, then. Enough talking for now.
He fit his mouth against Xanxus' again, hot and hungry, and spread his hands against the solid breadth of his chest. As he did, Xanxus shifted beneath him, moving his hands to curl around Tsuna's hips and hold them. It was difficult to keep himself from reading too much into the gesture. Tsuna pushed the thought away and concentrated on chasing the last traces of scotch lingering on Xanxus' lips, and then just on the leisurely soft-slick movement of lips and tongue stroking against each other. By the time his mouth felt almost raw with the kisses they'd traded, Tsuna's slacks had become uncomfortably tight and he'd decided his next move.
He broke away from Xanxus' mouth, pulling back far enough to look at him and take in the color running high in his cheeks and the slick, red shine of his mouth. Xanxus stared back, apparently content to let Tsuna make the next move.
Tsuna touched his fingertips to Xanxus' mouth, following the swollen curve of his lips, and cleared his throat. "Sometimes I think about the day you ambushed me with a blowjob, you know. You just about melted my brain out my ears."
Score a point for instinct: Xanxus' pupils dilated as Tsuna spoke. At least some part of him liked that memory. Good.
He carried on when Xanxus remained silent, running his fingertips back and forth along the plushness of his bottom lip. "I don't know if you know how you looked that afternoon, but sometimes I can't look at you for too long because I can't help remembering the shape your mouth made around my cock. How red your lips were by the end. The way your hair felt in my hands." Oh, that was good—good enough that Xanxus took a breath through parted lips. Tsuna slipped his fingers between them, all the way to the second joint, index and middle fingers together, and rested them against Xanxus' tongue. "You were so good for me, my own. So very good."
Xanxus finally, finally uttered a sound at that, muffled around Tsuna's fingers. It sounded like it might have been a protest—no, he wasn't trying to pull away from Tsuna's fingers, so it wasn't that. He'd already given permission for the endearment, so… the compliment, then. The praise. "But you were," Tsuna told him, watching Xanxus closely. "You were so good for me. You were perfect." He drew his fingers back, slow, and then sank them into Xanxus' mouth again, deeper. The pressure of Xanxus' mouth changed around them as he swallowed, and then—
Xanxus curled his tongue slowly, dragging the point of it against the sensitive skin between Tsuna's fingers, watching Tsuna from behind his eyelashes.
Well then. Tsuna smiled at him, slow, and took the chance. "Do you want to be good for me today, Xanxus?"
Xanxus swallowed again, eyes so dark they were nearly black, and granted him the tiniest of nods.
Tsuna exhaled, slow and not quite steady. "Good. I'd like that very much." He drew his fingers free of Xanxus' mouth and slid out of his lap. Xanxus watched him step backwards until he'd found his desk; he passed his tongue over his lips as Tsuna leaned against it. Tsuna took a breath and crooked a finger at him. "Come here, my own."
There was a part of him that fully expected Xanxus to balk at the command, was prepared for another battle of wills, but Xanxus surprised him again. He rose slowly and his gait as he approached was stiff, but that could be due to any number of things. He paused just inside the edge of Tsuna's personal space, close enough that he was looming, and stopped there.
Maybe that was the point. Maybe this was a way of quieting some of the noisiness inside Xanxus' head.
Tsuna tipped his head back to meet Xanxus' eyes. "I want you on your knees, my own."
Xanxus' eyes sparked, enough that Tsuna tensed, but no—that wasn't outrage, was it? Still moving slowly, Xanxus sank to his knees.
Tsuna's mouth ran dry with the sudden surge of his own response. When he reached out to brush the hair from Xanxus' eyes, his fingers shook just a bit. "Good," he breathed, and saw Xanxus' eyes flare hotter. "That's very good." He wasn't the only one of them with an obscene tent in his slacks, either. Jesus.
His fingers still shook when he dropped his hands to his belt to undo it and unfasten his slacks. Xanxus' gaze flicked from his face to his hands, back and forth again, until Tsuna dipped his fingers into his boxers to free himself. When he did, Xanxus' eyes stayed there, gaze fastened to the flushed length of Tsuna's cock, already starting to drip.
"Now." The words rasped out of Tsuna's throat. "Be good for me, my own."
He scarcely breathed as Xanxus wet his lips again and leaned forward to close his mouth around the head of his cock. The heat of his mouth and the sight of his lips wrapped around him punched a gasp out of Tsuna, airless, and he gripped the edge of his desk hard enough to make his knuckles ache. "God. God, Xanxus." Xanxus was still watching him, eyes dark beneath the fall of his hair, and he held himself still.
Tsuna unclenched his fingers to cup Xanxus' jaw and rest his thumb at the corner of Xanxus' mouth. "That's a good start, but I'm going to need more than that from you." Which was both true and not, though Tsuna didn't really care to test whether he could come from this alone.
He was prepared to give more explicit instruction, but Xanxus pressed closer. The first exploratory stroke of his tongue was soft and not entirely confident, but more than enough to light every nerve Tsuna possessed on fire. He groaned, the sound rough in his throat, and shuddered as Xanxus swiped his tongue over him again, exploring him—Jesus, Xanxus was testing what worked for Tsuna, was varying the pressure of his tongue in response to the sounds Tsuna was making.
Tsuna had to sink his teeth into his lip until he tasted blood just to keep himself from coming on the spot. "God, you're so good, my own," he breathed, reaching down to hold Xanxus' face between his hands. "Now relax for me."
Xanxus widened his eyes, then Tsuna felt the muscles of his jaw soften under his fingers. "Very good." He rolled his hips forward, sinking cock into Xanxus' mouth until the infinitesimal tension in Xanxus' muscles told him that he was reaching the man's limits. He held himself there, breathing hard with how hot Xanxus' mouth was around him, how Xanxus looked in his hands, eyes gone hazy. "God, Xanxus, just look at you, my own. Look at how good you are for me."
Xanxus' eyes fluttered, going heavy-lidded, and he finally made a sound, something very like a hum of satisfaction. Tsuna groaned as his mouth vibrated around him and drew back, transfixed by the wet slide of his cock passing over Xanxus' lips. "So good," he whispered, cradling Xanxus' face in his hands and rocking forward, fucking his mouth slowly. "You're so fucking good." There was no way he was going to last, no amount of self-control enough to hold himself back from the edge for very long, so he stopped fighting it. Tsuna rocked against Xanxus steadily, praising him with every movement of his hips as the heat ratcheted tighter and tighter, until he could feel himself teetering on the verge of coming. He rubbed his thumb along Xanxus' cheek. "I'm so close… can you take it?"
Xanxus groaned around him and sucked, mouth going hard and tight around Tsuna's cock, and that was that—Tsuna held him and drove his hips forward, body jerking as he spilled himself into Xanxus' mouth, cock pulsing over his tongue as pleasure rolled through him. He moaned as he came, though he hardly knew what he was saying—Xanxus' name or curses or praise or maybe all three jumbled together—until the rush of it subsided again and he was able to sag back against the support of his desk, panting, and he slipped free of Xanxus' mouth.
Then, dazed, he saw Xanxus' throat bob as he swallowed, and another shudder wracked him, shocking and sudden. "Fuck, Xanxus—!"
Xanxus stared up at him, perhaps as surprised as Tsuna himself was, though that second unexpected spasm had really only splattered a few flecks of come across his chin and lips. His mouth moved, silent, shaping the syllables of Tsuna's name, perhaps, but that was all.
No, it wasn't. Xanxus had his knees planted wide, and his slacks were stretched tight, straining against the unmistakable line of his cock.
"Take your cock out." Tsuna barely recognized his own voice or the decision to issue that order. "Let me see how hard you are for me."
Xanxus' hands flew to his belt, nearly fumbling with it in his haste to undo it and shove everything down. He groaned as his cock sprang free, and Tsuna groaned with him. Xanxus was very hard for him, cock dripping where it jutted up against the crisp white of his shirt. "God," Tsuna breathed. "God, look at you."
"You like looking." It was somewhere between declaration and inquiry, or maybe entreaty.
"You're very good to look at." It wasn't a simple statement to make to Xanxus, Tsuna knew that perfectly well, but it was still true. All the same, he moved on before Xanxus could do more than knit his brows together. "I want to see more. Touch your cock."
Xanxus grunted at him, the perfunctory sound not quite masking his relief as he wrapped a hand around himself, smearing precome down his shaft as he fisted himself. He hissed through his teeth, jerking his hips up the tiniest bit before he caught himself and stilled them again.
To think that there were people who thought Xanxus didn't have any self-control.
Tsuna fanned his fingers over Xanxus' cheek, smearing them through the flecks of drying come. "You're magnificent." He reached for his Flame, let it rise and fill his voice with conviction. "Absolutely, breathtakingly magnificent." He rubbed his thumb over Xanxus' mouth, all red and swollen, hushing him before he could argue. "Keep going. I want to see you make yourself come for me."
Xanxus shuddered, groaning, lips parting as the sound ground out of his throat, and obeyed. Tsuna continued to caress his cheek as Xanxus flexed his wrist back and forth, fisting his cock with short, fast strokes that said more clearly than words could how close to the edge he already was. Tsuna watched avidly, drinking in the way Xanxus' hand fitted around his own cock and the soft, wet sound of skin sliding over skin as Xanxus' breath began to come faster. "Magnificent," he said again, laying his Flame against Xanxus' heart so the man would know how absolutely true it was, how viscerally satisfying it was to watch him take his pleasure and to know that he was the one who'd chosen to initiate the entire encounter.
Xanxus groaned again, squeezing his eyes shut as he tipped his head back. Tsuna could feel him, how close he was in the way he strained for something just a little more—
Tsuna sank his fingers into Xanxus' hair, twisting them in it and holding him firmly. "Now, my own. Come for me."
Xanxus gasped and bucked against his own fist, coming over his fingers in long pulses. Tsuna gripped his hair tightly as Xanxus shook, throat corded taut, and did not release him until Xanxus sagged and hunched in on himself, breathing hard.
"That was perfect." Tsuna folded himself onto his knees and pulled Xanxus to him for a kiss. He could taste himself when he swept his tongue against Xanxus' and when he brushed his lips over Xanxus' face, kissing away the mess while Xanxus made a shocked sound. "Perfect," Tsuna told him again, shaping the word against Xanxus' mouth. "You did such a good job for me."
He hated the way he could feel Xanxus' heart yearning after that praise, greedy for it the way drought-parched soil was greedy for water, but if that was what Xanxus needed from him, he was more than happy to provide it.
Xanxus, still dazed, allowed him to attend to the rest of the mess they'd made. He seemed no closer to rousing by the time Tsuna had tucked them both away and done up their flies again. Tsuna pursed his lips—why not try? He slid a hand up Xanxus' chest and over his shoulder. "Come here, my own?"
Astonishingly, Xanxus obeyed him, shifting forward when Tsuna drew him closer and allowing Tsuna to wrap his arms around him. He moved slowly, uncertainly, perhaps not entirely following Tsuna's intentions, but he allowed Tsuna to arrange them nonetheless. By the time Tsuna was satisfied, Xanxus was leaning against him. He was too large for Tsuna to tuck under his chin, but he consented to rest his head against Tsuna's shoulder, which was the next best thing.
Tsuna set his hand on Xanxus' nape, holding him, rubbing his thumb along Xanxus' hairline. "Very good, my own. This is so very good."
Xanxus didn't say anything, but he sighed after a moment and settled imperceptibly closer. It was its own answer, as was the fact that it took a very long time for him to make any attempt to pull away.
Yes, Tsuna decided, they were finally starting to get somewhere with this.